50+ Funny Golf Sayings, One-Liners and Team Slogans

Funny golf sayings? The best ones poke fun at bad shots everyone has hit: "That's a par for me," "We're not counting water and sand shots today," or a missed three-footer called a "nice lag." Below are 50+ funny golf sayings, one-liners, team slogans and short lines that fit on a shirt.

Want a saying with your name on it? Browse our funny golf gifts.

Funny golf sayings golfers really use on the course

The Caddie Network asked its followers for the funniest lines they had heard on the course and picked 42 favorites (The Caddie Network: 42 funniest lines). A few clean ones from that list:

• "May thy ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters."
• "If you grew tomatoes, I bet they would come out sliced."
• "That's a par for me."
• On a 3-foot putt that misses: "nice lag."
• "We're not counting water and sand shots today."
• "You're not really good enough to get that mad."
• "I swear I'm not this bad."
• "I don't drive that far on vacation!"
• "God, I need Google Maps!"
• Putt that's clearly gonna come up short: "Break a tackle!"

Funny golf one-liners for bad shots

• "It's not a slice, it's a scenic route."
• "That ball has seen more trees than a lumberjack."
• "I'm not lost, I'm exploring the course."
• "Fore! And five, and six..."
• "My ball loves the water more than I do."
• "I play golf to relax. It isn't working."
• "The sand trap called. It misses me."
• "Golf: a good walk with extra shots."
• "I hit it straight. The course is crooked."
• "Every shot makes somebody happy."
• "I'm keeping the ball company in the rough."
• "My handicap is my putter."

Funny golf sayings for putting

• "Never up, never in. Always up, never in."
• "It looked in from here."
• "That putt had a mind of its own."
• "Three putts is just more practice."
• "The hole moved."
• "Read it, missed it, blamed the green."
• "Close counts in horseshoes, not on the green."
• "I'm a two-putt kind of person. Sometimes three."

Funny golf team names and slogans

For a scramble or league, pick a slogan the whole team can wear:

• Grip It and Sip Coffee
• Bogey Bunch
• Fairway Fanatics
• The Mulligan Crew
• Hook, Line and Slicer
• Sand Savers
• Par-Tee Animals
• The Shankopotamus Squad
• Putt Pirates
• Tee Time Troublemakers
• Weekend Hackers
• Birdie Hunters

Need more? See our full list of golf team names.

Short funny golf sayings for shirts and captions

• Golf and Chill
• Born to Golf, Forced to Work
• Talk Birdie to Me
• Out of Bounds Again
• Will Golf for Snacks
• Drive for Show, Putt for Dough
• Swing Now, Work Later
• Life Is Better on the Course
• Gone Golfing, Back Never
• Keep Calm and Hit Fairways
• Par-Tee Time
• Professional Ball Finder
• Weekend Forecast: Golf
• My Other Club Is in the Lake
• Grip It and Rip It
• Tee It High, Let It Fly

Funny golf hashtags

#GolfLife, #TeeTime, #BogeyLife, #FairwayFinder, #MulliganMonday, #19thHole, #PuttPuttPro, #GolfHumor.

How to use a saying on a golf shirt

Keep it short (two to six words) so it reads from across the tee box. Match the tone of the group: clean one-liners work best for charity events and mixed leagues. Our funny golf gifts include polos with skull golfers, golf balls in sunglasses and Christmas flamingos, personalized with a name or team name. Styles such as men's polo, women's polo and long sleeve polo vary by design, so check each product page. For gift ideas, read gifts for golfers.

FAQ

What are some funny golf sayings?

"That's a par for me," "We're not counting water and sand shots today," "If you grew tomatoes, I bet they would come out sliced" and "nice lag" on a missed short putt.

What are good golf jokes?

Quick one-liners about bad shots work best, like "It's not a slice, it's a scenic route" or "I hit it straight. The course is crooked."

What are some funny golf hashtags?

#GolfLife, #TeeTime, #BogeyLife, #MulliganMonday and #19thHole.

What is a short funny golf saying for a shirt?

Talk Birdie to Me, Will Golf for Snacks, Professional Ball Finder or Drive for Show, Putt for Dough.